And no, I'm not talking about Dr. Dave.
Calvin has unequal vision in his eyes. He sees practically perfect out of one eye (his left, AKA "good eye") and then out of his other eye he sees 20/80 or so (rt eye, AKA "bad eye"). The problem with a condition like this is that the brain will start to ignore the bad eye and eventually cut off all communication to that eye and as a result the eye will no longer be coordinated with the brain or the good eye, resulting in a lazy eye. Sorry if that's not a great medical explanation. It's what I know! In Calvin's case, right now, even with corrective lenses on he still only sees 20/60 or so because his brain isn't trained to use the bad eye. Anyway, to strengthen the bad eye, Calvin is supposed to wear a patch over his good eye so that the brain has practice using the bad eye. Over time, the vision in the eye will improve and the goal is that eventually he'll see 20/20 with his glasses on out of both eyes.
It is a HUGE struggle to get Calvin to wear his patch, and understandably so. I'm sure I wouldn't like having my good eye covered up all the time with an itchy and annoying patch. So, we struggle. He takes it off several times a day with all kinds of excuses. Often we forget to put it on or he'll wander off without it and we never remember to chase him down and get a new one. some of his excuses: my eyes are tired, the patch is wet (sweat or tears), I don't wear a patch to eat, I am to tired, etc., etc. Another problem is that patches are expensive. About 20 cents each and we often use several a day. This really adds up since we've been patching for years (on and off).
Recently we went to see a new doctor and he gave us a fresh idea about how to keep the patch on. Duct tape. (A familiar old friend to us and fixer of all things broken. Clare often tells us to find the duct tape to fix things!) The doctor said, if he doesn't wear the patch, put socks on his hands and then tape his hands so he can't take it off. He'll learn to wear it. We found that tape on the hands isn't enough because Calvin will use his teeth to pull the tape off. So, we had to tape his hands behind his back. It isn't something we do all the time. In fact we've only done it a few times but it becomes necessary when we cannot get Calvin to wear his patch. A few days ago he went through several patches before breakfast so I taped him up for a little while. This is what the doctor said, "it may sound a little harsh,but what is worse? being blind in one eye or having no hands for a while? The kid is not old enough to decide that he wants to be 1/2 blind later in life or have a lazy eye. You have to choose for him and you have to make him wear the patch. Do not give up. I have never lost a patient and I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE ONE NOW!" The doctor also said that we are actually pretty lucky that Calvin's eyes are still coordinated because his vision is so unequal and he is so old (in terms of the brain development which is considered mature by around age 8). If his eyes cross then we will have to do surgery which is never perfectly successful in this kind of case. So, we've been blessed with a little extra time to work on this and I would cry my heart out if we allowed him to lose vision in his rt eye. It is super hard work but we're trying. I often have to remind myself to do better. I have met a couple of people who patched a little when they were young and then it failed. They said they wish they would have been more diligent but of course it is too late for them now.
He didn't want me to take his picture. But as you can see from the picture above he really wasn't too unhappy.
13 comments:
Oh, isn't motherhood (and childhood) so hard sometimes? It's so tough when the choices are between something bad and something worse (like when it's time for your 5 year-olds to get their 5 shots before kindergarten). Good luck with everything. You're a great mom! Really, you're doing great.
that doesn't sound fun. but that is a good point the doctor makes about having to choose for him, even if it seems harsh now. keep it up! i know it gets tiring, especially w/ 2 others kids!
oh my. That sounds so hard for you as a parent and poor Calvin. I remember getting my first eyeglasses and hating that, but to wear a patch sounds worse. I hope he will learn to keep it on so that he will keep the vision in his eyes. You are a great mom.
Sorry Calvin! Good luck Denise, he'll learn eventually!
Denise you are such a great mom with so much patience. He will thank you later in his life for doing all you could to help him see better. Good luck with the eye patch. I hope that it gets better for you all. You are amazing;-)
You should buy a pair of real handcuffs and give Calvin the option between the duct tape or handcuffs. If you've ever seen the series 24, you need to ask yourself: What Would Jack Bauer Do? Another alternative: offer to let Calvin cut Clare's hair if he wears his patch. One lock of Clare's hair per day. Good idea? Y/N
wow Denise! I bet this is hard on you! He'll thank you later!
that's tough. Stay strong, he'll thank you for it later!
This is one of those fine print items you did not realize you'd experience in motherhood. Best wishes!
He'll definitely thank you one day for being such a patient, persistent mom!
It is so hard to do the right thing by our kids sometimes. You should be commended for sticking with it and not giving up! Keep on keeping on Denise!
I've told Duncan to remember these techniques for future reference ;)
what parent doesn't want to tie up their kids every once in a while? At least you have a doctor's orders (and an important reason) to do so!
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